Premium80x

The light’s of the city would be blinding to a human, and so it was strange to him that they would build their cities so brightly. As it was, the lights where bright enough that Premium80x had to adjust his ambient light sensor. That was better, he thought. With a bag of garbage in hand, he shuffled along the hoverpath leading from the house to the trash compactor. The gears in his neck whirred loudly as he craned his head to look at the night sky. Smog and space debris blocked any perception of the stars to the humans but Premium80x’s sensors where much more advanced than a human eye. The stars were beautiful tonight, he thought, as he did every night. For a moment his vision began to get fuzzy, strange indecipherable imagery replaced the night sky. Then it was back. That had been happening far too often lately.

Robotronix was a company that made robots. They were very good at what they did and would often throw celebrations upon a job well done. Confetti would be strewn and horns would be blown. They were a rowdy bunch of advanced robotics programmers. After successfully unveiling the Premium90x model to the world they were so excited that two programmer drank just a little too much and made a small sexual mistake. Suffice to say that the next day at work was filled with many awkward silences. They did not however celebrate the release of software updates for their robots as such a event was in fact uneventful. And there was absolutely no fanfare at the announcement that one of their models was to no longer be supported. This happened to be the case of Premium80x.

Premium80x banged a metal fist against his head to make sure his sensors were working. They seemed to work most of the time and seeing as how the last software update he would ever have occurred over a year ago, he considered himself lucky that he could see at all. He continued to walk along the hoverpath, his power cord trailing behind him like a tail. It refused to roll up anymore but it never bothered him.

The mouth of the compactor reminded him of a very fat human, as humans tended to be very fat. It ate and ate and ate, but unlike the fattest of humans, the compactor never grew. Machines were so much more resourceful than their fleshy counterparts. His task completed, Premium80x dragged himself back into the house. He plugged his power cord into the wall and slumped into a sitting position. He was tired, if robots could feel tired. He closed his sensors and counted electric sheep until he drifted into sleep mode.

Robotronix loved fanfare. And so when they invented a new confetti launcher they thought it was such a great leap they decided to release a new model of robot to celebrate the occasion. A grand hoverparade drifted between the tall buildings of the cityscape. Confetti rained down from the sky and the programmers danced and drank champagne, while the city watched in amusement. Everyone flocked to the stores to pick up the new robot dubbed the iPal. This robot would put to shame all the previous models. Everyone had to have one. When the sales figures came in, the programmers at Robotronix were disappointed. Sales of confetti were way down. It seemed people had missed the point.

Premium80x peeked his head around the corner and peered into the living room. His owners gathered around the new robot and seemed very excited. Fat fingered children touched and poked while their plump father laughed. The new robot smiled and picked up a child in each arm and proceeded to hurl them into the air and catch them once again. They children laughed and their mother and father hugged with arms too short to reach around the other’s robust frame. Premium80x was not a human. He wasn’t programmed to feel the way a human felt. But nonetheless, he was...disappointed.

As night fell, Premium80x’s began to feel better. This was because when the sun set he could see the stars again and that always made him happy. He retrieved the bag of garbage and headed for the door. His path however was blocked by the fat man who had purchased him years ago. The man shook his head and pointed to the new robot. Premium80x was shocked and confused but handed the garbage over. The new robot began to eat the garbage piece by piece. Premium80x couldn’t help comparing the new robot to the humans that built it. Always eating. When the new robot was finished a spout protruded from its chest. The fat man held a mug under the spout and it began to fill up with a delicious smelling liquid. The man drank it down and patted the new robot on the head. It smiled and hovered away. The man glared at Premium80x and then waddled after the new robot. Premium80x trudged over to the outside door and pressed his metal hands against the window. He could not see the sky.

Robotronix wasn’t involved with the production of just robots and confetti. They built spaceships as well. Really fancy spaceships, they would tell girls at bars, with pretty colors painted on the sides. Do you pilot these spaceships, girls at bars would ask. And they would reply, no but you’re really pretty. The programmers at Robotronix were not great people people. And if asked what the spaceships were used for, responding that they were designed to haul garbage off to other planets, definitely didn’t help matters along.

Premium80x stayed in sleep mode even after the sun rose, at least that’s what he wanted his owners to think. They banged their fists on his head, opened him up and poked inside. But after a minimal effort they gave up and decided he was broken for good. Premium80x opened one sensor just a crack and saw the man directing the new robot towards him. He quickly shut his sensor and felt himself lifted up by the new robot. It was quite a strong robot, no wonder he was being replaced. He felt the sun beating down on him as the new robot carried him. He opened his sensor again and saw the bright city day light which was surprisingly not that different from the bright city night light. The new robot set him down gently next to the trash compactor and returned to the house.

Premium80x waited for a long time. But he was used to long stretches of loneliness. Eventually a garbage hovertruck flew up to the compactor. Premium80x watched the garbage fall into the truck. He leaned over the edge of the hover path and let himself fall. He landed softly on a pile of garbage and waited. The truck flew off and Premium80x stared at the sky. He could not see the stars through the sunlight.

When the truck finally stopped, it dumped its load and Premium 80x tumbled down. He stood up and brushed himself off and watched the truck fly away. He was standing in an endless field of garbage. Not knowing which way to go, Premium80x began to walk.

Big layoffs were announced at Robotronix. It turned out that the iPal could program better than the programmers. The programmers were saddened at their new found unemployment and decided collectively that programming your own obsoletion had in fact been a poor choice. But that didn’t mean they shouldn’t celebrate anyway, after all now they would have time to finish that side project they had been working on, confetti-filled balloons.

Premium80x stood in front of a towering spaceship. A conveyor built lifted endless streams of garbage into the ship’s hull. Premium80x placed one hand on the lowest rung of a very tall ladder leading up the side of the ship. He climbed and he climbed and he climbed until his gears were tired. Turning around he looked out at the endless fields of garbage and couldn’t really tell where the garbage ended and humanity began. He grabbed his dangling power cord and wrapped it around himself and through the rungs of the ladder. He tied it into a knot and checked to see that it was secure.

The engines of the large spaceship flared to life. With a jolt and a crash, Premium80x felt the ship liftoff and head for the skies. He looked down at the world and was glad to leave it behind. He felt the pull of gravity tugging him back towards the surface and wondered why this planet wanted to keep him grounded when everyone on it seemed to want him off it. The ship roared ever upward and finally broke the surface of the sky. Though the engine was certainly still humming, Premium80x could no longer hear it. In fact he couldn’t hear anything except his own gears turning. And he saw, for the first time in his existence, the stars as they were meant to be seen. It was beautiful.

He only had a few moments of serenity because just then, his power cord decided to snap free of his body. If only they hadn’t stopped making parts for his model over a year ago. Premium80x struggled to grab the ladder but he was too late. He began to drift away from the spaceship. But after a small bout of hopelessness, he resigned himself once again to the serenity of space. Here he could be close to the stars forever. Better to drift endlessly than rot away planetside. Premium80x smiled, a motion he thought he had forgotten how to do long ago.

Robotronix prided themselves on efficiency. They were never wasteful and always got the job done in a timely fashion. That's why the driver of the Robotronix garbage ship cringed as he adjusted his rear view display screen only to watch a tiny bit of debris float away from the ship. They would certainly dock his pay for that but the driver shrugged and flew away.

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Premium80x was written by Daniel Weinell. Image provided by pixbay.com