One day a dead man sat down to discuss his options for reincarnation with his creator. I think, said the dead man, that I’d like to be rich. Yeah definitely rich. Maybe I could come from money so I wouldn’t have to work so hard. Because last time I was really bottom rung. I don’t really want to go through that again. So I’m thinking someone kinda prestigious. Like a celebrity. But, hmmm, then I’d have to deal with paparazzi. Okay how about this, some fancy pants business tycoon type? Yeah that sounds good.
His creator shook his head.
That’s a no go, the man asked. All right lets see then. Oh I gotcha, you want me to do some good this time around. I guess I was a little selfish last time. Okay okay. So how about I could be like a man of the cloth. You know a preacher or somethin’? I could have a family and kids and help the world and whatnot.
His creator frowned. You do recall the life you led, do you not?
The man laughed nervously. I may have had some minor indiscretions last time around but everyone makes mistakes.
Armed robbery is not a mistake, said his creator, nor is adultery.
Okay okay I get it, said the man. All right so what are my options then? I could be homeless. I mean, I could make that work. It’d suck for sure but I could get through one lifetime of that.
Listen, said his creator, you’re not even in the right ballpark here.
The man furled his brow. So what are you saying, I gotta be an animal or somethin’? Hmm, maybe like a house cat or a dog? I could be a dog. Man’s best friend right? I’d be fed and cared for, plus it’d be a quick enough go through.
His creator laughed, let me put it to you straight. We’ve been through this same conversation so many times its starting to give me a headache. You always say you’ll change and be a better person. But every time no matter what I send you back as you hurt your peers. I really don’t think any of this is getting through to you so...
The man began to panic. Woah, woah, hey, let’s not do anything hasty. Maybe we can work out some kinda deal? I’m very amicable here.
His creator stopped to think. Very well. Last chance though. I’m serious. I’m sick of putting up with your bull crap.
The man got down on his knees and hugged his creator around the legs. Thank you! Thank you! You won’t regret it this time.
His creator pushed him away. I hope not. Ok, now close your eyes.
The man closed his eyes and his creator kicked him out of the afterlife.
What’s goin’ on? Where am I? Ugh gross, giant ants. The swarm of ants moved through the tunnel forcing him along with them. They breached the surface and he found himself on a very large kitchen counter.
A little girl looked down at the ants. Eww gross, little ants.
The ant looked up at a giant finger and then died.
Do Over was written by Daniel Weinell. Image provided by pixbay.com.
lawl, so hes gata go talk to the creator again?
ReplyDeleteYup! Maybe he'll get it right next time.
ReplyDelete